Excessive jealousy(reprinted from Catalyst, the newsletter of the Houston Area Women's Center. Call 713-528-6798 to help, or if you need help in the Houston area call 713-528-2121)
Excessive jealousy
Possessiveness
Unrealistic expectations of self and others
Anger is a typical response when limits are set
Doesn't want you to go out with friends or won't let you come and go
as you please
Isolates or restrains you
Calls on the phone all the time or spies on you
Dictates what can and can't be worn
Blames others for problems or actions
Sudden mood swings
Threats of violence or suicide
Cruelty to animals or children or the elderly
Quick involvement
Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde personality
Believes in rigid sex roles
Hypersensitivity
Verbal abuse, attacks or accusations or belittles or humiliates you
Emotional abuse, threats or extreme lack of affection
Economic abuse, refusing to let you work or to have access to bank
accounts
History of past battering
Breaks objects or intentionally damages your personal property
Uses force during an argument
Playful use of force during sex or forces you to perform degradable
sex acts
Any force used during an argument or at any time that results in being
pushed, pulled, hit with a fist or palm, contusions, kicks, strangled or
threatened with a weapon
Call your local Women's Center (in Houston 713-528-2121)
Be prepared to leave. Collect important papers (or copies): Birth certificates,
social security cards, immigration documents and driver's license. Make
copies of your house and car keys. Pack important papers, clothes and medications
for yourself and your children. Leave them with a friend or in a safe place.
When you sense you are in danger, GET OUT! You can always go back later
if you change your mind.
Find safe shelter with family, friends or your local Women's Center
See your doctor or go to the emergency room for medical treatment
Seek counseling to discuss your options
You have the right to file charges, get a protective order or seek
other legal help
Webmistress's note: No one has the right to hurt, abuse or degrade you. No matter what anyone may tell you, you have done nothing to deserve this treatment, and it is not your fault that someone else behaves violently towards you. They are the ones with the problem, and they need professional help to overcome their problems, but you can't be the one to change them, many batterers never change. They may apologize and seem truly sorry afterwards, but don't stick around waiting for it to happen again. Do not give batterers a second chance. There's no excuse for the first time! No one can really love someone and hurt them.